Not funny haha, but ...
Sunday morning link roundup
Hello!
Here’s a little link roundup for those of you lying on the couch, looking for (not-too-deep!) internet stuff to ponder 🤔.
I found this little gem shared in a Reddit thread. “Daughter's 4-Sentence Obit for Mom Who 'Burnt Bridges' Goes Viral. She Says It's 'No Joke’”
There’s not much else to this article from People Magazine besides a kind of wide-eyed smirkiness.
“Before she turned in her four sentences, Novak says she ran it past her aunt to get her approval. She did not hear back for more than 24 hours. And when she did, she says her aunt only took note of a typo.”
I don’t find the article interesting in and of itself so much. (I guess it’s… funny?) What I do find interesting is the contrast between “legacy media” and social media/forums. There is just such a hunger online to talk earnestly about estrangement. Yet, when it comes to “old-school” media, estrangement is treated… gingerly? Like a sad joke?
This contrast kind of reminds me of the divide in the heyday of the “mommy blog” between women in the thick of early motherhood, telling the truth and finding a legion of other mothers nodding along furiously. Meanwhile, mainstream media either steadfastly ignored everything the bloggers were doing, or patronized them. (Calling them “mommy blogs,” for example.) But, for those touched by the tumult of early motherhood, the blogs felt like they were making the invisible visible. I wonder if, as more and more people write about estrangement online (like me!), mainstream media will feel prodded to figure out how to bring the nuances of online conversations to its articles. Who knows?
I’m not a big fan of all of josh_ffw’s work, but when I need a pep talk about boundaries, I do find myself seeking out his videos, especially his pissed off takedowns of the Well-Meaning Concern Troll. Like this video.
Speaking of which, every woman needs her mother! LOLz. Stephanie Foo’s bestselling book, What My Bones Know, is a searing and powerful read for people touched by abuse and estrangement. It’s worth checking out at your local library.
Did you see anything published this week about estrangement that made you think? Leave a comment and let me know.
XO, hope you’re well,
Maggie
Lol. That obit. 😆 I regularly reassess the status of “mom in my life.” It took a long time and a lot of recovery to make our relationship a choice I make instead of a burden I saddle. Even now that she is in her mid-eighties and extremely fragile, I define the boundaries regardless of her need. I couldn’t write an honest memoir until I became willing to do what sometimes felt like crushing her spirit, cutting her throat, and burning down the house. I’m so glad you helped me write that book. Thank you.
Love it! There was no obituary for my mother.
What My Bones Knows inspired me to finally get serious about my own memoir. Great book!