When I read this, as a person who navigates estrangement and ambivalence the thing that stands out to me is longing. And how at least in my experience holiday or something other than holiday that is the consistent companion. Will I know that feeling of coming together? Would I recognize if it showed up?
I remember the first time I spent a holiday (Christmas) away from my family. It was my sophomore year in college, I believe. My friend's parents had a huge Christmas Eve party at their home, with people coming in and out all night, food served, drinks going...and I kept waiting for drama. Literally, about 100 people stopped by. At the end of the night, I asked if I could help clean up. "No, no. It can wait until morning." But I had learned my lesson that no doesn't mean no, it means you shouldn't have to ask, just do it! So I started to help... no, no. Just go to bed, it can wait until morning. I woke up, bracing for bad moods and complaints. I was greeted with hugs and smiles. "Wasn't that a good night? Everyone seemed to have fun." It was the first time in my life there was no holiday drama. No bad moods or short tempers. It was when I realized that people could actually enjoy the holidays without a steaming pile of resentment waiting to be thrown. And I made a point to spend as few holidays with my family as possible after that. (Sorry, Papa.) Family isn't everything. Happiness is. Contentment is. Love is. And peace is. Let me know if you get those stats, Maggie! xo
When I read this, as a person who navigates estrangement and ambivalence the thing that stands out to me is longing. And how at least in my experience holiday or something other than holiday that is the consistent companion. Will I know that feeling of coming together? Would I recognize if it showed up?
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I remember the first time I spent a holiday (Christmas) away from my family. It was my sophomore year in college, I believe. My friend's parents had a huge Christmas Eve party at their home, with people coming in and out all night, food served, drinks going...and I kept waiting for drama. Literally, about 100 people stopped by. At the end of the night, I asked if I could help clean up. "No, no. It can wait until morning." But I had learned my lesson that no doesn't mean no, it means you shouldn't have to ask, just do it! So I started to help... no, no. Just go to bed, it can wait until morning. I woke up, bracing for bad moods and complaints. I was greeted with hugs and smiles. "Wasn't that a good night? Everyone seemed to have fun." It was the first time in my life there was no holiday drama. No bad moods or short tempers. It was when I realized that people could actually enjoy the holidays without a steaming pile of resentment waiting to be thrown. And I made a point to spend as few holidays with my family as possible after that. (Sorry, Papa.) Family isn't everything. Happiness is. Contentment is. Love is. And peace is. Let me know if you get those stats, Maggie! xo
❤️❤️❤️❤️